Why is it I still miss you after all this time? I thought I am okay. I thought I am alright. But I was wrong in thinking that I might finally be free of you simply because I do not hunger for your kisses or yearn for your touch. Today I felt exactly that.

All throughout I tried to ignore the insane urge to come to you, to seek you wherever you are and be with you even for a few hours. To see you, feel you, and hear your voice is what sustains me like water to a thirsty man. You are the air I breathe. Without you I am dead inside.

Gone are my heart, my soul, and my body. They are not mine anymore for I have given them to you willingly without expecting something in return.

My love for you is unconditional. I love you for who you are and who you choose to be in the future. I love you because you exist.

Your very existence is a testimony to the reason why I was born. Our destinies are entwined yet they haven’t been joined. It seems we are bound to meet again and again and not be together.

We are cursed, you and I. We are fated to always be apart, separated by class, by years, by circumstances and by the people surrounding us. We will always be ill-fated lovers.

But be not miserable, my love. Though we will always be parted by other forces we cannot control, the love we felt for each other during our joining exists in the moment forever. Each particle of time embodies a moment of truth.

Though we are now apart it does not change the fact that we felt something strong for each other and so urgent and compelling that we have forsaken reason and ignored the whispers of conscience. Were we destined to join together as one and experience pleasure in each other’s arms? For what purpose is it that we’d feel this need for each other so great?

During our short time together as we savored our kisses and held each other so tight, there was this sense of mad urgency as if we are losing time and that we must make the most of the opportunity given to us. It was as if we knew we knew we will soon be apart, never to be together again.

What cruelty is it that Fate dealt us that we savored the madness of wild love only to lose it to the cold rationality of reality? Are we to forever bind our passionate selves and show a masked face of conformity to the world?

For many years our passion was hidden. And now that we have unleashed it how else can we cage it back? We both value our freedom and we both hate being caged. We are a pair of free spirits in a logic-bound world.

For now I am miserable without you.